Many people have asked me what inspired Be the Light. The truth is, Be the Light came from a very dark place in my life. Having unsuccessfully been trying to conceive for three years, I felt it was time for me to shift my focus, my life's purpose, to something else.
For as long as I can remember, my biggest dream was to be a mother. I didn't worry about what I wanted to be when I grew up because I knew I was going to be busy being a mother and my career would come second. Becoming a school-teacher felt very natural to me, but I didn't see myself in the profession long before going off to raise my family.
So, when trying to conceive for one year came and went, I just reassured myself that this was common and next month we would be pregnant. The months went by and I grew more unhappy as they went. Jealousy, unfairness, envy, depression, resentment, were all feelings and thoughts I endured. It was so hard for me to see other woman conceiving successfully, especially after just one try. The stories about the women who weren't even trying hurt the most. Why them and not me?
My life revolved around trying to conceive and that became my purpose. I forgot how to laugh, how to have fun, and how to just be in the moment. After staring at our empty "nursery" for two years I decided to turn the room into something that would inspire me. Something that would make me feel whole instead of incomplete. I began to turn the room into my art room, where I would learn about other ways I could create things with meaning. Creating was something that brought me instant gratification and I was creating things that brought other people happiness as well. I spent a lot of time reflecting and creating in that room, growing what came to be, Be the Light.
The biggest challenge for me in these past four years has been recognizing that I am enough, just as I am. To accept that life does not always work out as we have planned. To be resilient enough to ride the waves, and to pick myself back up when I fall. Through Be the Light I am hoping to create space for people to recognize their potential, accept their truths, and love themselves. Believing wholeheartedly that you are enough.